To post or not to post?

After great deliberation and many long and boring drafts here it is.  There is no satisfying conclusion on this one…

I'm not doing very well at pacing myself at the moment. You'd think that being a Project Manager I'd be able to prioritise and manage my time effectively, and in a work sense – no problem; in a personal sense however...  

Over the last few years I have, in fits and starts, been creeping up my own list of priorities, having always placed myself fairly far down it in the past.  Previously my position has always come after: doing the sensible thing, not upsetting the apple cart and keeping everyone happy, in the misguided belief that the side effect would be that I might also be happy. Potty logic I know … Anyway, to cut a very long and boring story short, I now find myself in a position right at the top of my agenda with the new resolve not to squander any more time and to do my utmost not to keep putting off happiness.

Trouble is that I now have lots of things I want to do and because I’ve wasted so much time in the past I’m doing the daft thing of trying to cram it all in at once: new job / challenge (this is proving to be a steep yet strangely pleasurable learning curve), meeting new people, properly keeping in touch with people I already know, going to the gym, finally getting round to learning to Salsa, doing more singing, enjoying the benefits of living in London, ie. going to events etc (which I’ve not done enough of so far and which I am aware is a crime after living here for 14 years), volunteering for Crisis this Christmas, preparing for the Inca Trail next year, allowing myself the luxury of time alone and most importantly nurturing and preserving my important relationship.

Now, all of this involves hard work, late nights, and a serious investment of emotional effort and essentially because I’m trying to do it all at once I’m exhausted - trouble is I don’t want to leave any of it out …