Thursday, July 20, 2006

There’s something missing …

Feminax Capsules …

They used to work like a dream but they don’t anymore!

Sunday, July 09, 2006

That was weird ... (revised)

Well the first viewing has happened - they didn't want it, too small upstairs apparently ... But hey, its feedback. It was however a really weird and upsetting experience; for TEH too I think. Sitting waiting to show a bunch of strangers around your home is weird enough, but once they'd been and gone it really brought home the fact that everything has changed and is soon to change even more. That's not to say that the change isn't going to be good and isn't right, its what I crave after all, but Saturday's experience just reasserted the fact to us both together at the same time in the same room, and that was weird. Suffice it to say that about 6 months worth of bottled up tears (I'm good at bottling up!) were shed that evening to the accompaniment of gin and tonic … [NB This is where the revised version ends - there was an original which was withrawn owing to oversharing and inappropriate material for posting here - it was however extremely cathartic to compose].

Anyway, the next day dawned somewhat gloomily, though it was a blessed relief to the stifling temperatures and humidity we've had of late. I ignored the forecast of morning rain and focused on the clear skies that were promised later. So Iheaded off with rucksack and waterproofs to Eynsford for what proved to be a lovely walk through corn fields (complete with my favourite poppies and cornflowers), a magnificent Victorian viaduct, pleasantly cool woods and pretty sections of river. It was wet to begin with, but still warm and there was loads of wildlife in evidence (the absence of lots of other noisy walkers because of the Wimbledon tennis final and the world cup final probably had something to do with that!) plus 2 enormous and surprising fields of lavender, not really the colour I was expecting in the Kent countryside.


I did my 8 miles and there were plenty of inclines to keep us on our toes along with herd of cows right between where we were and where we needed to be. Cows, calves and a bull to be precise, a potentially unpredictable combination. They kept a beedy eye on the calves, but all passed without the need to pick up pace and vault the stile (or indeed demolish and rebuild a drysone wall which is another story, dating back to my D of E in the Peak district many moons ago).

So all in all a mixed weekend really which definitely ended better that it began.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Is there anybody there?

I know – it’s been such a long time … there’s probably no-one out there reading this any more! It’s been a funny old month. I’ve been kind of busy

  • Complaining to the council about their non-refuse-collection service. Oh yes, it has gone on and on … I’ve now got a lovely glossy complaints pack to fill in when I’ve got a spare moment.

  • Arguing a parking fine – sigh. This was as a result of parking too close to a line in a bay which I pay an annual fee to park in on the Saturday of the first England game in the world cup. There were only 3 cars parked in the street and there are quotas to be met … I’m awaiting photographic evidence, though research has shown that the PCN isn’t legal anyway – there are supposed to be 2 reference numbers on them and there is only one, so we’ll see what happens.

  • Working and

  • Walking.

In the absence of funds and in the face of many bills everything has had to be cheap so gigs, pubs and cinema have been out …

I’ve been on lots more walks - I enjoyed the last one in particular, lots of scrambling up and down in a wood (which was the perfect place to be when out in the open it was 32 degrees!) and what is more I now have my boots! Sadara take note, I’ve been wearing them in around the flat and last Sunday was the first day I got them dirty! They were pretty comfortable, didn’t rub much, but I still have a bit of adjustment to play with in terms of adding another insole and doing creative lacing – I had a little lesson in tying my laces in the shop when I was buying them would you believe. But anyway, I’m very pleased with them so far.

I'm finding some excellent walking partners and so hopefully I’ll have enough who are up for 10 mile hikes every weekend to see me through.

But the rest of the time I’ve kind of been feeling strangely static. I think it’s all to do with not having managed to get any interest in the house; and until the house is sold, or at least shows signs of being sold, I’m not really able to make any plans, so I kind of feel as I said ‘static’, even trapped?

I’ve been working away as ever (I just had my 1 year anniversary) and, dare I say it, have been feeling somewhat positive about the job in recent weeks. I now know what works and I’m really pleased with that. I’m at last feeling that actually I’m good at what I do. There I said it … It doesn’t come naturally to me! I know how it needs to be done, I’ve got processes in place and I’m confident about dealing with customers because of that; no more feeling around trying to work out the best way of implementing stuff while trying to mop up previous failed implementations at the same time (i.e. ones that were a mess when I arrived in the job!). I know what works and its worked several times now which is gratifying. I’ve also stopped being intimidated by the Prince2 local government / enterprise customer ‘project managers’.

I think I’m a decent project manager, which as far as I’m concerned involves simply being organised, having good communication skills and being able to break stuff down i.e. seeing where to start, what will consitute the end and what stages are required to get there. I like to call it the common sense approach and it seems terribly logical to me. Lets face it I have a work breakdown structure in place for getting up and going to work in the morning: risks identified, critical path analysed and everything – no point eating my breakfast or putting my lippy on before I’ve brushed my teeth example – there is an order to everything. I’ve never done any formal training, and I’m certainly not Prince2 certified (certifiable maybe …) but that doesn’t bother me any more really. I know I can’t ‘talk the talk’, but I know I can ‘walk the walk’ and that is what gets things done at the end of the day.

So I’m getting lots done, but I still feel like I’m not moving forward. Because of the house ...

I’ve been thinking about my Peru trip and all the plans I had / have for after that, but without the sale of the house I can’t afford to do any of the post Peru stuff and won’t be able to do it because I’ll still be here in a job which doesn’t allow me to have a mid life crisis sabbatical for 3 months! Also, what is additionally irritating is that I’ve got precious little annual leave in this job (how I miss the annual leave at the RFH – for goodness sake, I had so much there I never managed to take it all!), and I’ve been trying to work out how much I’ve got so I can take some holiday this summer – I haven’t had a break since Easter and that was only 4 days out of the office (ie. including the bank holiday weekend!). I’d just like to get out of London for a bit, do some proper walking and camping maybe. If I’m going to jack it all and in head off on travels after Peru, then I won’t need to take the 12 days leave for Peru out of my annual leave allocation which means I’ve got 13 days to play with between now and the end of November. However, if I’m not jacking it all in (which I can’t unless I sell the house) then that only leaves me 8 days leave up until April next year – not much to play with at all really …

The other thing is that if I don’t sell the house, it means I need to stay living where I am, which in turn means I’m going to have to get a flippin’ loan out to pay for the Peru trip. That was going to be funded by the money that my gran left me when she died last year, however, that had to be pressed into temporary service as the deposit on the flat I’m living in … If I’m still in the flat that means no deposit coming my way!

Result. I’m stuck, stationary, static … As you know, I like to be organised and I feel like I should be (want to be) doing a lot of research, making plans, working out costs, checking in with people I would like to be visiting etc now in order to be prepared to head off in December. But I’ve decided that I shouldn’t let myself even look at what I could do post Peru because I don’t want to be disappointed. And I hate it; that feeling that I’m not moving forward.

Well, maybe things are looking up. TEH and I have ditched the previous rubbish estate agent, who managed not to bring a single person through the door (no-one to see my CNL style re-representation of the back bedroom) and who when we asked why that might be, i.e. what was putting people off, look of the place, the area, the price etc etc said that he would do a ‘bit of research into how much similar properties were going for in the area’ … I ask you! You can imagine my response to that. Anyway, more research was done further valuations sought etc, and we now have a new agent who immediately seemed to have a handle on what sort of buyer he would be targeting and having signed off the description and done the proof of ID thing on Tuesday evening, the house went onto the website on Wednesday morning and we have one viewing tonight and another on Saturday.

Now, don’t worry, I’m not getting my hopes up, but I am very happy that we’re getting someone through the door who can give us some feedback at last! And who knows, they might end up being as smitten with my view as I am … Fingers crossed that I’m moving forward again.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

It's a bit like making pancakes ...

Maybe because it was my first fake tan of the summer and I haven't quite rediscovered the application technique - a bit like the first pancake you make is always a bit dodgy until you get the combination of oil, heat and the swirl of the pan as you add the pancake mix sussed - either way, it seems to have gone a bit blotchy on my lower legs. Not quite sure what I did wrong. It looked OK on Sunday, but now seems to have gone a bit patchy.

Hey ho, I've got all summer to remaster the tecnique and I was feeling decidedly chilly this morning anyway so I've resorted to jeans (and pink suede boots) so no-one can see the blotching. Happily my tummy is un-blotchy, but unhappily I'm into the 7 day 'circle' countdown, so the little bloater is being sucked and in decorously hidden under a long T shirt ...

Sunday, June 04, 2006

It's good to be back ...

I really wish I'd carried on walking after I left home. You can't beat a good old yomp through fields and over stiles and now I'm doing it again I realise how much I've missed it. I've not managed anything serious yet of course, just a couple of rambles really.

The first was the Mole Gap Trail 6 / 7 miles with only slight undulation and the second was the Norbury Park Circular Walk 5 miles with a couple of short steepish sections. The weather was perfect on both occasions, dry and sunny (though lots of clarts underfoot in places on the first one) but not too hot. Lots of dragon flies, butterflies, fish, ancient looking trees and lovely views to be enjoyed while eating a picnic.



I really must get a proper digital camera (definitely before I go to Peru etc, but ideally before then so I can practice - I'm not a natural photographer or photographic subject for that matter!) However easy as the walks might have been, they've been a good foray back into walking through fields of cows, stepping in clarts and the inevitable peeing in the woods ...

However, before I can 'step up' the difficulty of the walks I've got to get some proper boots - trouble is I'm even more strapped for cash this month than normal - why do bills car tax, insurance and phone bills always end up coming at the same time?, so that’ll have to wait until next month; but, as important, I need to find a walking group, or at least a couple of other people who'd like to get out and walk at the weekend.

I've been looking on the ramblers website and am aiming to go along on a couple of their 'group walks' to see what they're like. I was going to for try the 20 - 40 group which I felt sure they would have, but it’s a 20 – 30 group … How to make you feel old in one deft movement eh … Anyway, I’ll just join a local group for a couple of walks and if they seem like they're going to be the sort of walks I want to do, then I guess I'll join up. I also need to remind Mr West that we were going to embark on an expedition of some sort over the summer. Admittedly we did have the conversation on the long coach journey to and from Birmingham way back in January so he may well have forgotten, but once I've got a more walking fit, carrying kit fit and my boots worn in I will be definitely be up for it!

Friday, June 02, 2006

It was all going to be so 'romantic' …

I was going to turn 'a big birthday' on the 11th October, have a bit of a 'do' and then head off on my travels on the 14th.

Unfortunately the company I'm doing my Inca Trail trip with have had a 'bit of bother' with flights and have moved the trip dates to November, which means the romance of turning 'a big birthday' (who am I kidding, you know how old I am!) and buggering off for a couple of months has kind of been changed.  I suppose it doesn't really matter, but it does mean that I'm now going to be in Oz and NZ in December rather than November which isn't ideal.

Good news: I've discovered that Cragghoppers make ladies travelling clothing in size 8s. They also make stuff in short lengths (for short arses like me).

Bad news: they don't make short length clothing in size 8 ... Seems a bit daft to me as it would seem reasonable that you would have a fair number of the population who are just 'petite' - ie short and size 8(ish) ....

Good news: I have a contingency plan - buy the grown up length convertible trousers in size 8, but always wear them in the converted to 'Capri length', mode - which is about full length on me!  

Bad news - they're out of stock in all the colours I like...

Ah well I've got a few months left to get kitted out! Though the sooner I get my boots the better ...

Is it strange that I'm getting quite misty eyed about finding my perfect pair of boots? Back in my hiking days - yes I have done it before! However, somehow marriage, work and a different set of personal priorities meant that I didn't pursue something that I now recognise to be something that I wish I hadn't sidelined ... You live and learn!  Well … back in my hiking days, I had a lovely pair of boots which I had walked extensively in, which had a bit cut out to cater for my peculiarly connected Achilles tendon, and which NEVER gave me blisters.

They wore out, in spite of the Bloominjools attentive dubbins'ing ... However, I'm hoping that 20 years on (my God, did I say 20 years??) that technology has moved on and that I will find enlightenment with a new pair of boots. What's the betting they're hideously expensive....? Much more expensive than my usual style of boot I would guess.

I will let you know!

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Its just not me. Is it?

So, you know I'm doing this Inca Trail thing? Why is it I'm more worried about what to wear than anything else?

So far all the horror stories about altitude sickness haven't really bothered me - I'll follow all the acclimatisation guidelines, make sure I've trained properly and if it happens it happens.

I'm not worried about blisters - I'll make sure I really walk my boots in and have proper socks and all that.

I'm not worried about not being fit enough - I have a good diet and a PPT. I've already programmed my walking schedule into the diary and am really looking forward to all the lovely walking I'm going to be doing over the next 4 months.

I'm not really worried about the eating situation - I'll manage one way or another.

I'm slightly concerned about the circle with no end, as I'm not sure at which point in the circle the trips kicks off ... But hey, there's nowt I can do about that, I'll just have to hope my new regime of Soya isoflavones are helping by then ...

No, what I'm worrying about is the clothes. I'm looking on websites for trekking kit and I can't find any decent trouser type bits (ie. that are quick drying, breathable, repel bugs and all that malarkey) that are under a size 10! Maybe I haven't looked hard enough ... The last thing I need to be worrying about is whether my trousers are going to fall down half way along the Warmiwanusca Pass or that they are so voluminous that they act as some kind of sail mechanism and I get blown off the ridge at Phuyupatamarca.


Warmiwanusca Pass and Phuyupatamarca

Also, I just don't look like a trekker. I don't have ruddy healthy cheeks, I don't have a sturdy looking frame (though I'm stronger than I look!) and I realise today that I don't have trekking type jewellery which seems to be required. I was admiring a girl's rucksack on the train earlier on and realised as I noted her ethnic bracelets that I've just never had that travelling look. I'm the girl in boot cut pink cords, high heeled boots and a full length leather (Trinity) coat. Am I just going to look really stupid on this trip? Probably ... And especially likely if my trousers fall down.

Styling help has never been needed as much as it is now, and if at the very least someone could point me in the direction of some decent walking trousers in a size 6/8 then that would be a start!

Saturday, May 20, 2006

The circle without an end

You'd think I'd have cottoned on by now ...

Yes, I did drink too much before eating, but it was actually my Thursday headache, masquerading as a hangover headache. I didn't spot it because it started on a Wednesday - doh! Anyway, two happy days later it was all gone - slurring of words, blurry vision and general screaming head banished until next month. Phew!

Now I just have to look forward to the next round; 7 days of excessive irritability mixed with tears and basic lack of brain function, followed by 2 days looking like a question mark (?), 2 days just feeling wiped out, followed by the 2 day Thursday headache ...

Hey ho, 14 days of 'freedom' left ...

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

I just can't hack it any more ...

I really must remember that when I'm going out on a school night I should introduce food into the proceedings much sooner than happened last night. To be fair, the lovely Jane and I did actually manage to eat this time - in a restaurant chosen by virtue of it having two items on the menu that I could eat and that we were both busting for a pee so needed to get in somewhere and use the facilities! The last time we met for food we never actually made it out of the pub...

However, for me, in my aging state, (Catster's worries about finding a single grey hair are nothing compared to the plethora of pesky white crinkly buggers I find on a daily basis indeed I fear that a Mallen streak is not far off), the food came in round about 2 glasses too late!  Consequence of that is that in spite of drinking what is with food normally a perfectly acceptable quantity for me, I felt pretty damn hammered and am a wee bit fragile this morning.  Not good on a work day…

So next time, I either have to insist that we meet at the restaurant, or make sure I drink mainly soft drinks until such time as we get there.  Yeah right...

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Hmmmmm update …

So, I’ve had confirmation from a chap at the company who are contracted by the Council to do the recycling collection; and I am definitely not entitled to a recycling collection. This is because (me living in a flat and all) it involves leaving a box on the street, and someone might fall over it. If I were to leave the box in the street and someone fell over it, apparently I would be responsible for any damages claimed by anyone that might be injured. I am however required (for the time being) to put my bin out in the street.

BloominJools: “Is that because it is big enough for someone to see and wouldn’t be considered by the council to be a trip hazard?”
Council contractor: “I guess so.”
BloominJools: “Would I however be responsible for someone being mown down by a passing motorist because a person with a double buggy has had to go onto the road to get past the bin?”
Council contractor: “………” he didn’t know the answer to that.

Council Contractor: “However, they’re going to be changing things so that you don’t have to put your bin on the street, because not all flats have a bin. They‘re going to have bag collections instead.”
BloominJools: “Hmmm … but wouldn’t a pile of rubbish bags on the street be a trip hazard?
Council contractor: “I don’t’ think so”
BloominJools: “Well then why is a green box a trip hazard and a bag of rubbish not?”
Council contractor: “…………” he didn’t know the answer to that.

I haven’t done my letter yet, but it will be done.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Hmmmmmmm

Because I live in a flat in my particular road it appears that I am not 'entitled' to a recycling collection. I'm also not entitled to a council bin. In fact if it wasn't for the fact that I already have one, I would now have to go out and source my own.

It has also taken me three different phone conversations over the last month with my local council to finally establish what day my ordinary refuse collection is. In fact at one point I thought they were going to say that I wasn't even entitled to one of those.

I have now established after said phone conversations (no point looking at the comprehensive and informative website because that is correct for everyone in the Borough except people who live in flats in my road ...) that my collection is on a Monday and furthermore, the reason that I haven't had a collection since 10th April is because I'm now required to put my privately sourced bin out on the main street.

  1. Let’s hope no-one steals said bin and

  2. It would have been nice to have told that that was what I was supposed to do, and

  3. I pity the next person who tries to negotiate that part of the pavement in a large wheelchair or with a double buggy ...

This is all in spite of the fact that I'm paying the same council tax as everyone else in my council tax band and, you'll be as pleased as me to hear, that the main reason for the increase this year was in order to fund the new recycling collection initiative - to which I am not entitled …

I can feel a strongly worded letter coming on.

A Synopsis

Because a full update would be tedious in the extreme ...

Work has really taken over since I moved into my new place and unfortunately just at the same time that we needed to get those big decorating jobs done on the house so we could get it on the market. Add to that my need to feather my new nest and to do nice stuff for me, its all been a bit manic really.

The "stuff I'd rather not have been doing" side of the coin saw me working long hours - well not as long as in a previous event managing life but still more than I should be. Its the age old thing of too much work and not enough people to do it plus my fundamental inability to let things slip ... I always end up with a really irritating sense of commitment / loyalty to my work colleagues and the people to whom we are providing the service. I would say that I wished I wasn't like it, but I don't, it’s what makes me, me. What I should be better at doing is not allowing myself to be used in this way time and time again.
Add to this the situation that when I wasn't working late I was up at the house in the evening (and Saturdays) scraping ceilings, rubbing down walls, painting, tidying garden etc. It didn't really leave much time for doing chores, nest feathering, doing nice stuff, sleeping or blogging.

Those who know me will know that I'm incapable of ignoring chores and with so many visits to the old house (nest), the need to feather my new flat (nest) (not to mention unpack!) was very strong. Basically that left me to choose between doing nice stuff, sleeping and blogging - I'm afraid doing nice stuff and sleep won in the end!

The "things I wanted to do" side of the coin lead to going to see Sinatra and then Salsa Celtica (both very spur of the moment and both very enjoyable); having lovely walks ; having various house guests - I love having people over and am currently busy considering flat warming options ... I also enjoyed a couple screenings of favourite Hollywood musicals at a work mate’s place who has a fantastic home cinema and the joy of seeing Seven Brides for Seven Brothers in cinemascope on a big screen was something else! An almost life-size Howard Keel in the room! Lovely.

I also indulged in a lot of nest feathering and I know this is potentially boring, but there are some pics on the way …

I finally got a break for Easter and went to stay with the parentals and did absolutely nothing for 3 days. It was quite easily done actually, not like the normal me at all (there are those that reckon there should be a verb 'to Jools’ pretty much along the lines of the traditional verb 'to do') but I was shattered, so didn't Jools anything at all.

I then blew all that rest on a trip ‘Up North’ to revisit a few places from our youth. I had a lovely coastal walk from Cullercoats (lovely) to Whitley Bay (hideous! - especially on Easter Monday when it was rammed with scantily clad teens/early 20s girls and lads getting rapidly & loudly hammered). Ialso went to Beamish a fantastic museum which I haven't been to since it was very new in the 70's and which I've been meaning to re-visit for years. Thoroughly relaxing stuff.

And then back to work … Good news is that the house is on the market (still no buyer, but there’s no more work to be done on it for the time being) and now I’m fully feathered on the flat front I’m feeling decidedly less hectic; so hey, maybe I’ll manage to promote the blog back up the list!

Friday, April 07, 2006

I haven’t got an idea in my head for a story

I admit it’s been ages since I blogged – 4 weeks in fact and I will let you know what I’ve been up to in instalments otherwise its going to be a bloomin’ long blog! However, headline information is that I’ve been ‘doing’ lots. Some stuff I’ve wanted to do and some of it I didn’t and I’ve just not been able to get my head into a position where things started forming words that I could put down on paper / blog space.  

In fact, in spite of several comments over the weeks about my lack of blogging it wasn’t until I was driving home from work tonight that I started feeling like things were slotting into place and that I might stand a chance of writing it down.  This was mainly because I was thinking of the Shark’s comment yesterday on my last post and all of a sudden I heard Dinah Sheridan in my head saying “I haven’t got an idea in my head for a story, so I’m afraid there won’t be buns for tea for quite sometime.”  

This is a quote from the Lionel Jeffries 1970 film adaptation of E. Nesbit’s The Railway Children which I love, and from which I have the terrible habit of being able to find a quote for most situations ... Mum and I saw the film loads of time at the cinema because when it first came out we were moving around a lot – Dad in the forces etc – and every time we got to a new camp that was the film on in the camp cinema, we seemed to follow it around!  Curious that I’ve never got myself the video or DVD – note to self to add it to my amazon wish list!

Anyway, as soon as I heard Dinah, I suddenly seemed to be able to break the last 4 weeks down and by the time I had arrived home I had sketched out several blog instalments in my head which I will post over the next few days and hope don’t bore you all to death!

In the meantime, some of the Railway Children lines which seem to find their way into my head fairly regularly for some bizarre reason …

Perks: “I’ve never seen anything as beautiful as a buttercup without it were a buttercup”

Perks:  “Perks must be about it”

Peter:  “Why’s it going so slow Mr Perks?”  (About a train coming through Oakworth Station)
Perks: “Well … its all up hill to Scotland int it”

Perks:  “Never mind the rain ladies, it’s only a shower” (it p**** is down …)

Phyllis:  “Is that blood, is that red blood, is he all killed?”

Cart Man:  “I dare say …”

Bobbie:  “It's Perks' birthday, he's 42, he says he got other things to keep than his birthday, not rabbits and secrets but the kids and the bloomin' missus.”
Mother:  “Wife and children Bobbie.”  
Bobbie:  “Same thing isn't it?”  
Phyllis:  “Bloomin' missus is a sort of a germ of endearment isn't it?”  

Bobbie: There's going to be a paperchase tomorrow. Phyllis:  Whippee! Bobbie:  The boys from the grammar school are doing it. Phyllis:  Zippee! Bobbie:  Perks says we can go by the ramp. Phyllis:  What's a paperchase?

And finally …

Bobbie:  “Daddy, my Daddy”  (cue lump in throat and general bubbling)

Sunday, March 05, 2006

A new view

I'm still in boxes and what's not in boxes has been put away in no particular order there's also a suitcase somewhere with sheets and towels in, but goodness knows where. However, I'm getting there and enjoying getting everything the way I like it and am particularly looking forward to alphabeticising my cds and books – no surprises there I’m sure!

After a week of head scratching and chilly mornings I've now fathomed out the timer for the central heating; its not terrible sophisticated, on or off basically, but at least I know how it doesn't work now I've found the flippin' instruction book.

I know I should prioritise getting stuff done in doors - its bloomin' cold out at the moment after all - and I've really got to stop 'treating myself'; but as I sit here in my favourite chair (yes I got to bring it with me) looking at my new double aspect view - a lovely skylight from which I can see the clouds scudding hectically across the sky and my back garden (well back yard really!) which has a pile of empty pots in it left by the previous tenant - I'm really fancying planting a load of them up so I've got a progression of colours, scents and textures to look forward to over the next months. I'll hopefully be taking delivery of my pots from home sometime this week, so at least I'll have my summer stuff to look forward to, but I'm really going to have to resist the temptation to nip into the garden centre and buy a pre-planted pot of bulbs or two! I've treated myself enough already this month and it has to stop!

I got my desk from the house yesterday which I managed to dismantle, transport to the flat and then rebuild all by myself! I’m very chuffed about that because it’s a big old brute – the PPT would have been proud! So the plan for today (post blog) is to carry on emptying bags and boxes, have a spot of lunch, a soak in the bath and wash my hair - which can be straightened for the first time in weeks now that I’ve located the straightening irons(!) – and then head off for drinks, dinner and an old Deanna Durbin movie with a friend from work. What a lovely Sunday.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Motion away or motion towards?

I don't usually run away from things - well I don't think I do anyway. I kind of swing between a tendancy to stick with and battle with stuff longer than I should (my 14 years with the same employer would be a good example of that) or make myself tackle difficult stuff head on (my decision to take a job in a box office in my early 20s when I had a telephone phobia would be a good example of that). However, in retrospect I was beginning to wonder whether "run away" was what I did last weekend.

The ever pressing issue of TEH's living arrangements (or rather lack of them) hastened the need for me to find my own place and so, in a needs must kind of fashion, I decided to take a flat which is bigger than I was planning, but in all other areas fits my list of requirements splendidly. Not that I mind the extra space you understand, but lets just say that my 4 monthly haircut may need to stretch to 5 / 6 and hermit status may be finally be achieved just at the point when I want to be out and about ... Sigh.

While I say that this decision was hastened, it was actually very timely. I already knew that I had to get out of the house, that was clear, but from where I'm sitting now I can see how stretched thin and wound up I had become, which meant that when the day came to move it was almost like I ran away from my lovely home.

I was determined to get as much of my stuff out as possible all in the one weekend so I didn't have to keep going back, that just felt like it would be too painful, so this meant a manic 3 trips in the TEH's van and 4 trips in my car. The last car trip was the one with my clothes in it, all just taken from the rails on their hangers so they could be put straight on hanging rails at the other end thus removing the need to fold and pack, good plan huh? However, when feeling more like me, I would have done the job much more carefully, grouping stuff and clipping the hanger hooks together, covering with bin liners etc, however it was all just thrown in the back of the car - randomly ... I don't normally do random! It's not me at all.

The rest of the weekend was spent with the help of the parentals who arrived in the evening with some furniture, an amp and speakers and food - I hadn't had any all day so this was particularly welcome at this stage of the proceedings. They stayed with me all weekend and did general Mum and Dad stuff. Mum cleaned the kitchen and put my stuff away, and Dad put together flat packed furniture and hung curtains. They also supportively wandered round Ikea with me and witnessed my scary bill at the other end - remarkable how buying basics at a fiver each mounts up unexpectedly ... Anyway, I wouldn't have managed without them and I feel bad that at a time when I guess they could have expected their older daughter to be settled and that they'd be grandparents maybe (they'd be good at that), they're suddenly back to standing as guarantor on my flat, lending me furniture and helping me move etc.

So anyway, with a lot of help I'm in the new place, feeling calm and contented in a way I haven't for a VERY long time and looking back at the weekend I now think that it wasn't 'motion away', but more like 'motion towards' (nod to Eddie Izzard there). 'Motion towards' my new life - which has got to be a positive thing, whatever it holds.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

What are you supposed to do with the photographs?

Being back in the house is a double edged sword really.  I love my home, but that’s exactly what makes it so painful.  The aim is to get it on the market by the end of the month, and in order to do that there is a certain amount of work that needs to be done – cracks to be filled, architrave to put up, walls to be painted, garden to be tidied up after the winter period and made to look appealing and presentable.  And that’s just it; I’m spending time in my home preparing it for someone else.  

I cut back my hydrangea the other week and generally pruned and weeded and as usual found it immensely satisfying and rewarding, right up until the point where I realised that I wouldn’t actually be there to see my garden come into flower, I wouldn’t be there to sit and take in the smells and look at my view from the comfort of a squishy lounger and a glass of Pinot.  That was when I realised that I had to get out as soon as I can.  Then to add even more urgency to this decision TEH’s living arrangements came to an abrupt end and consequently has been living out of a suitcase with various friends, who may cease to be friends if this goes on much longer …

I’ve been looking at flats, but it needs to be something I can be comfortable in for a good 8 months ie. up until the Inca Trail and whatever lies beyond; there’s no way of knowing how long it’s going to take to sell the house after all. It also needs to be something that TEH and I can afford between us, on top of what we already pay on the mortgage etc and without both of us turning into hermits …  Not an easy task as I discovered.  There really are some grim places out there.  My pre-requisites are proving somewhat elusive:

  • Ground floor or maximum 1st floor (Unpacking shopping …)

  • Studio or 1 bed (if a studio I want one big enough to have a separate bed rather than a sofa bed)

  • Gas Central heating (heating!!!)

  • Washer, fridge, freezer, oven & hob

  • Somewhere to park the bloomin’ car
But which ever way I look at it, the process of moving out (properly this time) whether it be in 2 weeks or 2 months, is going to be a painful one.  I’ve made a start on packing up my stuff, but of course, in order to identify my stuff it means sorting through our stuff and I keep coming across memories all wrapped up in inanimate objects.  For example I have just packed up a box of children’s books.  The emotions packed away in that box are just phenomenal and an experience I don’t want to revisit for a wee while.

Strangely CD’s have been the easiest job – not sure why that is.  Maybe because modern technology has taken the angst out of decisions about whose is whose etc – just copy the damn things.  There are 5 piles:

  • Mine

  • TEH’s

  • Mine that I think TEH would like a copy of

  • TEH’s that I would like a copy of

  • Pile that we can’t remember who’s they are – they were just ours.  Solution for this one – copy them all and then have a lucky dip for originals.
But I think the worst job, and the one which I keep skirting round, is what are you supposed to do with the photographs?  I think I’ll leave it there …

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Well that’s the last of the Christmas cake then …

It’s amazing how long it lasted really – probably because I was away in Germany for a couple of weeks and forgot to take some with me – but either way I’ll miss my slice of cake for elevenses!

That was the week and a half that was.

Well, I’ve pretty much settled back into life in the house – I’ve really missed it and I hadn’t really admitted to myself how much, so I’m going to try and enjoy it while it lasts. Mind you, bearing in mind that the plan is to get the place on the market by the end of February that might not be as long as I would like.

The last Requiem was another good one – I’m sorry it must be boring me saying that every time! Sadly Elizabeth Jansson, the Alto soloist who toured with us couldn’t do the concert because she was ill (tour cold got everywhere it would seem), so Catherine Wynn-Rogers stepped in. She was really good, but it was really disappointing that Elizabeth couldn’t be there with the rest of the soloists that we’d toured with.

It was a long old day – up to Birmingham on the coach and then back to London after the concert – but it was good to get together with everyone again and make commitments to meet up for photo swapping, trekking (practice runs for my Peru trip) and general social stuff. Keeping it real, our time keeping challenged members came up trumps with an unscheduled loo stop on the way up the motorway; well, we had planned to stop to pick someone up from a service area, but we hadn’t planned on peanut bladdered members nipping off for a pee; it didn’t make us late or anything, but I guess it gave certain of us the opportunity to “exchange glances” etc in remembrance of the tour. (God I’m a grumpy bird sometimes!) The bus ride home was very quiet and all journey I was feeling sad about the fact that I’ll not be singing with the guys and won’t be seeing Craig and Jenny, all of whom felt like part of my family by the time I got back from Germany, for quite some time to come.

The rest of the week was pretty much as usual, too much to do etc. I feel like I’ve had a really productive week, but when I actually look at what I’ve done against what there is to do, I’m really only just scratching the surface … Ah well, I managed to get my registration form filled in and sent off for the Inca Trail nonetheless. Hurrah! Provisional dates are 14th to 23rd October. Now I just need to keep cracking with the fitness regime with the PPT, get the house sold and work out what else I want to do with the rest of my life. Easy …

Well the first step is to get the house sold, so after doing my washing, shopping and general weekend sorting out (I woke up at 6.30 am in spite of the fact that I could have had a flippin’ lie in …) I managed to sand, clean and paint the bathroom, scrub the bathroom window and blind – looks much brighter now. Tomorrow – as long as it’s not too cold – is earmarked for tidying the garden and maybe a bit of noodling on the old piano. What am I going to do with that???

Sunday, January 22, 2006

A few hellos now I’m back …

Hello oven
Hello hob
Hello shower
Hello comfy bed
Hello piano
Hello speakers
Hello comfy sofa (tho’ I was quite attached to my pink chair in the flat!)
Hello tumble drier (tho’ it has already had one name-check)

And finally …

Hello wireless network and 2Mb internet connection. Heaven!

There’s no place like home

Well what a day yesterday was.  I feel like I spent the whole day flippin’ cleaning.  Whilst it wasn’t the whole day it was certainly the lion’s share of it!  I was up at 7am to do a few last bits of packing and then spent the rest of the time, until TH turned up at 10am, cleaning the flat.  You don’t grow up as a child in the forces without having the “moving out of married quarters inspection clean” instilled in you as a serious piece of work.  Now I knew that some officer clad in white gloves wasn’t going to come and undertake a full inspection which would include stroking said white gloves over every available surface, but I’m afraid the clean I did would have come up trumps even if they had!

TH’s van was packed up very quickly, so as we were running ahead of the pre-arranged key handover time he set off as an advance party.  I carried on cleaning fitfully (not much else to do really) until Lou arrived and then set off back to South East London.  TH had phoned to say that the route he had taken over Battersea Bridge had been really quick – he was back in 50 minutes, so I decided to follow suit.  Its all in the timing … By the time I was heading back – just over an hour later – whale fever had completely overtaken the Battersea Bridge area.  As soon as I hit the plethora of TV OB vans and heard the helicopters circling above I knew that I was in for a long wait.  Ah well … 2 hours later there I was back in my house, surveying the pile of unpacking that awaited and taking in, with a sinking feeling, the amount of cleaning I was going to have to do …  I shouldn’t have expected anything else really.

So, I did 4 loads of washing (oh joy unbound to be reunited with a tumble drier – what a little miracle to be able to wash dry and put stuff away all in one go – no damp washing hanging around the flat, hurrah!); unpacked all my possessions and put them away; dusted and disinfected all surfaces (no more rolling dust on the piano keys and the white sink is now white again rather than a dirty beige); hoovered all the floors; made the bed; cleaned the bathroom (a necessity if I was going to have a bath!)  

I had just about flaked out when  I received a call from BBW to see how I was doing and who, knowing my love of lists, provided me with one.  

1.  Pour a large glass of wine
2.  Run a bath
3.  Pour another glass of wine to drink in the bath
4.  Have a bath
5.  Maybe have another glass of wine – this item was optional …

Unfortunately having crossed item 1 off the list the rest of list went a bit haywire owing to a random nosebleed.  For goodness sake, I haven’t had one of those since I was in school!  Irritating as nosebleeds are in general, it would have been OK if it hadn’t lasted 45 minutes … That’s quite a long time and I was beginning to get a bit worried.  I had a call from George after 15 minutes of pinching the soft part of my nose, and who left me to it sounding a bit worried and with a request to text her when it was over.  I had a call from Lou after 20 minutes, who left me to it sounding a bit worried but then texted me the number for NHS Direct and asked me to let her know when I was over.  I had a call from BBW who didn’t sound worried at all  but who then proceeded to call me every 5 minutes to see how I was doing, to check that my brain hadn’t come out of my nose and to suggest stuffing Kleenex up my nostril.  Every bone in my body said that was a bad idea, but after 35 minutes I was ready to try anything (except having to get a cab to A&E and sit in chairs for several hours before they stuffed a tampon up my nose …), so after 10 minutes of Kleenex, the final BBW call was met with the reassuring news that it had stopped – phew …

So points 2 to 5 on the list were revised to:

2.  Drink lots of water
3.  Have a shower – felt a bit safer that having a bath …
4.  Go to bed
5.  Item 5 was always optional but was abandoned in favour of sleep

Either way, now I’m back I’ve realised that there’s no place like home (I own a pair of red shoes so feel entitled to use that expression), and whilst I feel really weird (I really can’t quantify how I feel, but its really weird), I expect I’ll get used to it – probably just in time for us to sell the house and to have to move again...!