Motion away or motion towards?

I don't usually run away from things - well I don't think I do anyway. I kind of swing between a tendancy to stick with and battle with stuff longer than I should (my 14 years with the same employer would be a good example of that) or make myself tackle difficult stuff head on (my decision to take a job in a box office in my early 20s when I had a telephone phobia would be a good example of that). However, in retrospect I was beginning to wonder whether "run away" was what I did last weekend.

The ever pressing issue of TEH's living arrangements (or rather lack of them) hastened the need for me to find my own place and so, in a needs must kind of fashion, I decided to take a flat which is bigger than I was planning, but in all other areas fits my list of requirements splendidly. Not that I mind the extra space you understand, but lets just say that my 4 monthly haircut may need to stretch to 5 / 6 and hermit status may be finally be achieved just at the point when I want to be out and about ... Sigh.

While I say that this decision was hastened, it was actually very timely. I already knew that I had to get out of the house, that was clear, but from where I'm sitting now I can see how stretched thin and wound up I had become, which meant that when the day came to move it was almost like I ran away from my lovely home.

I was determined to get as much of my stuff out as possible all in the one weekend so I didn't have to keep going back, that just felt like it would be too painful, so this meant a manic 3 trips in the TEH's van and 4 trips in my car. The last car trip was the one with my clothes in it, all just taken from the rails on their hangers so they could be put straight on hanging rails at the other end thus removing the need to fold and pack, good plan huh? However, when feeling more like me, I would have done the job much more carefully, grouping stuff and clipping the hanger hooks together, covering with bin liners etc, however it was all just thrown in the back of the car - randomly ... I don't normally do random! It's not me at all.

The rest of the weekend was spent with the help of the parentals who arrived in the evening with some furniture, an amp and speakers and food - I hadn't had any all day so this was particularly welcome at this stage of the proceedings. They stayed with me all weekend and did general Mum and Dad stuff. Mum cleaned the kitchen and put my stuff away, and Dad put together flat packed furniture and hung curtains. They also supportively wandered round Ikea with me and witnessed my scary bill at the other end - remarkable how buying basics at a fiver each mounts up unexpectedly ... Anyway, I wouldn't have managed without them and I feel bad that at a time when I guess they could have expected their older daughter to be settled and that they'd be grandparents maybe (they'd be good at that), they're suddenly back to standing as guarantor on my flat, lending me furniture and helping me move etc.

So anyway, with a lot of help I'm in the new place, feeling calm and contented in a way I haven't for a VERY long time and looking back at the weekend I now think that it wasn't 'motion away', but more like 'motion towards' (nod to Eddie Izzard there). 'Motion towards' my new life - which has got to be a positive thing, whatever it holds.